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Meet some of our EcomCity staff members during this halftime shopping break...

Shirley wanted to be introduced first, since she's the only one at the office, and the only one that's 9 to 5 -sharp. The rest of us Telecommute like normal "web persons." ( hope that's politically correct) She loves "blond jokes" and passes them all along. We've enrolled her in various computer literacy classes, but she still feels that e-mail should cause the phone to ring. She's a firm believer in "E-commerce", but refuses to get her paychecks by EFT, and still uses Quicken version 1.01 to balance her check book.
CPA -david David is our CPA, former Bank VP, financial consultant, self proclaimed computer guru, owner of 3 bookkeeping services, and a collection agency. He, and his collection agent ( also a retired IRS guy -at right), contributed by listening to our clients woes about how electronic commerce is ruining their businesses. Seems they all feel pre-paid Internet orders, EFT/ EDI, zero based accounting, and the rest, are a threat to normal business transactions. 

Frank is a freelancer working part time on client projects taking photos and working on web page copy...

If you can read this whole story without tears of laugher running down your  cheeks then there's no hope for you! For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an  inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I  happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and,  besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I  accepted". Here are the scorecards from the event:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2--Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames
out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.!!!!rotflol.gif (4013 bytes)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2--Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me
more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out ones taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,
was standing behind me with fresh refills. She is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can
no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw those rednecks!!rotflol.gif (4013 bytes)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices
and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about
Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid
unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like crap to match my
shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing, its too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any
oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole
in my stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell
over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure he's going
to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.....rotflol.gif (4013 bytes)

Gommer ( no relation to the Piles) wanted to narrate this demo with -real-audio clips. As a ex-radio talk show host & oldies -DJ, he felt the urge to comment on anything. We convinced him that until our ISDN or cable modem lines are installed, even we would have problems fighting web-bandwidth & downloads. He was also too busy broadcasting Microsoft and Netscape press releases for the local talk station. He's tapped to moderate our upcoming wholesale Club discussion group. Now Gomer is also a camera buff and loves shopping EcomCity for all the best buys in digital and film cameras....

It's important to Fly your American Flag on more then just the 4th of July. Show your patriotism and pride in our armed forces with the large selection of American and USA State flags from this recommended merchant. Flying a tattered, worn or dirty American flag is disrespectful. Get a new one on sale now at AmericanFlags.com! AmericanFlags.com is America's most trusted name in flags featuring a wide selection of American flags, world flags, state flags, residential and commercial flagpoles, banners, bunting and patriotic memorabilia. We sell only American-made flags and are the largest flag retailer in the world!

The 2008 campaigning for Presidentual election candidates is in full swing. Express your love of country, and state, by flying their colors for all your neighbors to see. After all... the Flag transends all politics, as it honors all those who died fighting for our freedoms.

IMS webmaster for Ecomcity's CybermallsMike our IMS. Webmaster, HTML programmer, amateur digital artist, researched and put together this presentation and the slow loading 250+ pages at EcomCity. If you see @ EcomCity, slow loading pages with lots of art -he probably did it! He runs on coffee & cigs like most old-line computer guys. He's also into Bonsai trees and dancing when not making web sites.

Newly added is the  EcomCity's Muscle Car Classics, a site dedicated to showcasing vintage American Muscle cars andVintage Z28 Camero tricked out for classic car cruises and drag racing collectable vintage automobiles. We cater to collectable muscle car collectors seeking to buy or sell their high performance or high performance classic vehicles via classified Ads. By using the very best auction tools to entice bidding on sites like eBay Motors or Cars.com you can expand your chances over or free classified ad services. We also act a the resource for maintaining and restoring classic cars to original condition, with links to speciality auto parts and vintage car care sites. Enjoy your visit here as we expand our pages to showcase the greatest era in automotive history. Links on this site take you to examples and facts on each type of Muscle car by listed by manufacturer type. EcomCity's webmaster recommends this classic car site for kicking off the 2006 car cruises and auto shows, that inspire those who remember the Muscle Car era. This is a fun section for showcasing cars that fulfill the "need for speed" Car restoration and performance car parts merchants are listed there.

The mustang started the trend to high performance pony cars. 1967 classic corvette click to learn how this one performs The 1969 Datona Dodge with Hemi engine
Get-in2... Classic Muscle cars ... click here for this new section.

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IMS -webwork -from visions to realitiesMall manager & Webmaster all rights ® reserved by IMS -10/18/13